Digging Through My Old Live Journal

I used to blog incessantly on LiveJournal back when that was a thing. Recently I’ve been trying to track down a poem I had painted way back when I was in college, and I started digging around on LiveJournal to see if by some chance I had posted the poem there. No luck so far, but I have found quite a lot of interesting things. 

Like, this playlist that I had created: 

Sweetness-Jimmy Eat World
Say It Ain’t So-Weezer
Obla Di Obla Da-The Beatles
Mambo Italiano-Dean Martin
Undone The Sweater Song-Weezer
Southern Girl-Incubus
Drop It Like It’s Hot-Snoop Dogg ft. Pharell
Blood To Bleed-Rise Against
I Never Told You What I Do For A Living-My Chemical Romance
Mad World-Michael Andrews
Suga Suga-Baby Bash ft. Frankie J.
Killing Loneliness-HIM
Dancing For Rain-Rise Against
Champaigne Supernova-Oasis
Sick Sad Little World-Incubus
Razorblade Kiss-HIM

Though, it is easy to get sucked into the past, and I’ve since taken a brake from Live Journal digging since I couldn’t find the droid I was looking for. Who else had a LiveJournal?


Allowing Yourself To Feel

As my trip to New York quickly approaches I am finding myself a little nervous, and with little bursts of excitement here and there. I know I’ve probably driven my friends crazy talking about the ups and downs about it, but for some reason, despite this being a huge opportunity, I haven’t fully allowed myself to be happy or excited to enjoy it. Jack White has a few songs on his new album, Lazaretto, that touch upon this idea that it’s a no-no to live in the moment and enjoy your successes. It’s seen as a bad thing by society, to celebrate. There is a difference though between rubbing it in and living. If you’re not allowing yourself the pleasure of feeling happy, excited, joyous, abundant, loved, then you are depriving yourself of truly living and enjoying your life. You also are worthy of feeling sad, angry, anxious, upset, allow yourself to feel those feelings, don’t hide them or bury them, truly feel them. Just be careful not to let them rain on your parade and cover up the good things going on in your life. 

One of my life lessons is to allow myself to feel all the things. 

This ties in a little bit with a great blog post I read this morning from Jason SurfrApp‘s blog, on giving yourself permission. It’s a great read and I fully recommend it. 

Now, to tackle some list making and packing, and then to give myself permission to feel excited and celebrate :)


Broken Toe Blues

Last Thursday (a little over a week now) I was making quesadillas and chopping up potatoes for part of the filling. The cutting board was half balanced on the kitchen counter as I was dropping the chopped potatoes into our food processor and I was holding the board with one hand, when the board slipped from my hand and fell, on it’s edge, right across the top of my left foot. I swore like a sailor, and clutched at my throbbing foot. The second toe in from my big toe was quickly swelling and turning a scary red/purple color. I knew without xrays I had definitely broken my toe.

For the first two days I used the aid of a cane to hobble around as I couldn’t put any weight on my left foot without extreme pain. The cane was a gift from a friend who said it had been in lost and found at her work for months and they were going to toss it since no one ever came in to claim it. I was originally hanging onto it for a Riddler cosplay, and for shooing kids off of my damn lawn. Suffice it to say I have much more respect for people who walk with canes and understand why some prefer the comfort and stability of a walker over a cane. After only a few days I began to form a callus in my left hand from putting so much weight on it as I walked. I now shuffle about, with sort of a limp.

That toe has since gotten very close to it’s neighbor, the middle toe, who it is currently wrapped up tightly with and I’ve been trying to keep off my feet to rest it, elevating it and icing it. For the most part the toe has been staying normal size, but it does get a little throbby if I’m on my feet too long.

I have been trying not to panic thinking about all of the walking I’ll be doing in New York just a week from today and hoping that my toe feels much better than it does now in time for my trip. I know that it can take 4-6 weeks for a broken toe to heel though. I will try to refrain from pouting at all the cute shoes I can no longer wear and how limited my choices now are. I have been wearing flipflops when I do have to leave the house and will attempt the adventure of getting my foot into a shoe later this week.

Has anyone else in the blogosphere broken a toe before? How long did it take you to heel? Any tips?

In the meantime I think I’ll paint my toes a cute color so at least they look cute poking out from the tape.



Lomography Is My Homeboy

In a few weeks I will be in New York City prepping for my first photography gallery show of my work! I am super excited! I couldn’t have done it without the generosity and awesomeness of my friends and family, and my sponsor, the folks at Lomography.

Leading up to the big show I have a few articles being published in the Lomography magazine and I’m holding special print sales on facebook and in my Etsy shop to help get me to The Big Apple.

The first article published for Lomography magazine is about the last photowalk our Film Photo Revolution film club went on in Old Town Scottsdale.

The second article was just published today on Lomography magazine and is about our road trip to San Diego!

In honor of the San Diego article being published, I’m having a special print sale of photos shot during that trip. For a limited time 4″x6″ prints are $10 each, 8″x10″ prints are $20 each and 18″x24″ wrapped canvas prints are $250 each.


I will post more details as we get closer to the big show!




Ansel Adams Is My Spirit Animal

Ansel Adams Is My Spirit Animal

A good friend of mine introduced me to the writings of Napoleon Hill, a man who interviewed successful people to figure out what made them tick, and more importantly what made them successful. One of his more interesting ideas was that of assembling your own table of great minds. You can seat people living or dead, people you knew or didn’t, of any area of expertise you like around your table. Then, when you need advice, you sort of meditate on that idea of the table of guests you’ve created and you ask them for the advice you seek.

I find it similar to the mind palace of Sherlock Holmes or the Memory Warehouse in Dreamcatcher. A way to delve deep within yourself and find the answers to your problems.

After hearing about Napoleon Hill’s idea I started to create my mental list of who I would want to sit at my table, it would certainly be a varied list. One of the people I wanted at my table, since one of my passions is photography, was Ansel Adams. I couldn’t really meditated enough to fill the rest of my table, but I find myself thinking of Ansel Adams whenever I need an extra boost of confidence in my photography.

Ansel Adams was a photographer of skill, but also of great knowledge of the science of photography; the books he wrote on photography are extremely detailed, but despite his intelligence and skill in photography, Ansel Adams wasn’t a photography snob. In one of Ansel Adams’ books he writes about the importance of the snap shot. While some write off snap shots as skill-less, Ansel Adams pointed out that even snap shots are significant to photography as they display the practice of using the camera to see and set up a shot. Seeing is one of the most important principles of photography. I admire Ansel Adams for both his skill and his acceptance of all types of photographers and photography methods. He was also very much into preserving the environment and wrote many letters to his Senators and Congressman about preserving our National Parks. All around, he was a pretty cool guy in my opinion.

When people talk about having a spirit animal, it is usually an animal that acts as a symbol of an aspect of themselves they wish to encourage or highlight. Perhaps they need courage and strength, or the ability to nurture, one would focus on a spirit animal that represents that which they themselves most want to emulate.

Ansel Adams is sort of like that for me, like a spirit animal he has the qualities of a photographer I most want to emulate. Having grown up without the pleasure of knowing my grandparents or knowing much about who they were as people, I have taken a liking to imagining Ansel Adams as the kindly grandfather I never had. He shows me his old cameras and talks fondly about his memories shooting them. He’s highly intelligent with a jolly quality, he has a twinkle in his eye and loves to go on walks. He supports my photography endeavors and is there with a warm smile and a “I knew you could do it,” to celebrate my successes.

I enjoy reading View Camera Magazine when I can come across a copy and recently when cleaning my room, unearthed my issue with Ansel Adams on the cover. I was so happy I put the issue aside where I could easily find it for inspiration.

Just yesterday I received a very important phone call about a very big and exciting photography opportunity that would take me to New York. Things had been a bit up in the air about this opportunity for the last few months and I was nervous. I grabbed the issue of View Camera Magazine so that Ansel could be there to cheer me on while I returned the phone call. The conversation went well, it was all good news and after hanging up I celebrated. Ansel smiled at me proudly from his magazine cover, never doubting me for a second.

In the book, The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin mentions finding a spiritual guide to happiness in Saint Therese. If one can have a spiritual guide to happiness, Ansel Adams can be my Grandfather of Photography.



How I Woke Up This Morning

Did I really sleep on a cat all night?!

Did I really sleep on a cat all night?!

I was inspired at 5am to draw a comic of what happened when I woke up this morning. Anyone with cats might be able to relate.



Everyone Needs Their Own Soundtrack

Everyone Needs Their Own Soundtrack

Growing up I used to make mixtapes all the time. I was a late 80s/early 90s kid with a boombox and a penchant for recording music off the radio. I came up with crazy names for my mix tapes, created my own track lists with personalized covers and sometimes added Lisa Frank stickers. Finishing a mixtape meant you poked out the little tabs in the top (but I still curse myself for putting tape over the tab holes to tape over my old mixes! Darn boy band phase…)

An ex gave me his old ipod after upgrading to a new model, but after we split up I had no way to update the ipod without losing all the music on it and eventually it stopped working. I replaced it with a cassette walkman and as luck would have it, someone moving out of an apartment in our complex left 2 boxes FULL of cassette tapes for the taking by the dumpsters. [Side note: It was eerie how similar my own taste in music was with this mystery tenant that I wish I could find out who it was if only to thank them for the bounty of music which I split amongst myself, my friends and family!]

Our stereo at home has a dual cassette deck on the front and I got into making mixtapes again. I was inspired to make myself a mixtape, something to serve as my soundtrack, my theme music, something I could give to a stranger and say “This is me.” Well, not definitively of course, because I’m extremely changable and I never feel like I could truly come up with a 100% description of myself in a single cassette, but something pretty close. Something that would make me happy to listen to.

My mix tape is pretty varied and crazy, it has a lot of really great songs on it that I can’t help but dance to. I have been caught on numerous occasions dancing to it at the bus stop. It once earned me a love note from an admirer on the bus. What can I say, I get in a zone when listening to my soundtrack–it makes me feel very much in touch with who I am, unapologetically.

Thusly, I think everyone should have their own personal soundtrack. A collection of music that just makes you feel absolutely like YOU. Something just for yourself. Put the most embarassing songs on it, because it’s not for anyone else but you. Dance your ass off, do the running man in your living room (or at the bus stop), sing along like it’s your own personal karaoke night.

It doesn’t have to be old school cassette style like mine, it can be a playlist on your ipod or a mix CD you pop in your car. Whatever makes YOU happiest and most suits your unique personality.

I’m already planning a volume 2.

Do any of you have your own soundtrack already? Does anyone else still listen to cassette tapes or make mix tapes? Let’s talk music! Let’s swap mixes!



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